(published in the Wed., Mar. 30 '05 edition of the Bull's Eye, Vol. 1, No. 23)
By: L.A. Kohl
March 15, 2005
When I look at the vehicle parked beyond my front porch, I have to laugh at how I’ve “evolved” in that regards. I grew up with a father who, according to my mom, is a “car-aholic”. He often traded vehicles once every year or two, and he loved to spend time on the weekend washing and/or waxing the car. It was usually a nice kind of car that started with a "C," ones like Cougar, Camaro, or Corvette (that one came AFTER I left home!)
Thus, when I became a teen and started thinking about the kind of car I would soon want to own, I was convinced that an early 1960’s vintage Mustang was just the thing for me. (Such a rebel - a non-C classic for me.)
Now is when I have to laugh, because not only did the Mustang never materialize...I’ve never even owned anything with less than four doors, unless you count my husband’s pick-ups. Funnier still, can you guess what current mode of transportation is parked out front? It’s a 15 passenger van...about as far removed from my teenage dreams as you can get. However, it is the essence of practicality, and in a large family that over rules almost all other motives.
It didn’t happen over night, so I’ve been able to acclimate myself to it gradually. It started with the four door cars, then to a mid size SUV. Next it was a couple of different full size conversion vans, then a full size SUV. But, even that would not seat nine, and thus began the search for just the right vehicle for our less than normal family. An 11 or 12 passenger van might have worked, if we never wanted to do a big grocery shopping or pack suitcases in it. Otherwise, the back seat needed removed to make room for “stuff”, and then you’re back to an eight passenger vehicle. No good.
So, we resigned ourselves to the fact that in America, about the only other option was a 15 passenger van, unless we wanted to start shopping for school buses. And when you’re going to get that practical, you might as well go all out. We got vinyl everywhere on the inside – seats, floor, everything. That way, we reasoned, when it needed a good cleaning, we could just hose the thing down, inside and out.
When you take the back seat out, you can fit half a grocery store in there, or use it like a small size truck. Take the back TWO seats out, and a husband can use it like a “good ‘ol boy” sized truck, while also lugging around the kids. (My hubby has gotten the thing stuck three times in the last three weeks trying to use it thus...too bad they don’t make 4x4, 15 passengers.) Put all the seats in, and you can haul the church youth group around, or your own kids plus all their friends. Going on a long trip to visit family? No problem. Even when adding in the grandparents, there is still room for all 11 of us, plus luggage, plus a make-shift cot.
I guess as my family gradually changed, so did my ideals and dreams.
But here is a passing thought – take ALL the seats out, and there might be room for a 1964 Mustang inside. (Like that’s really going to happen? Not as long as I’ve got all these other priceless treasures around here that need hauling around!)
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Life from a Toddler's Point of View
(published in the Wed., Mar 23 '05 edition of the "Bull's Eye", Vol. 1, No. 22)
By: L.A. Kohl
March 5, 2005
I’ve been doing this parenting thing for over seventeen years now. It isn’t getting easier...but sometimes I think it’s becoming more fun.
Don’t get me wrong, the first few years of parenthood were definitely enjoyable. I just think that I, like most new parents, was too uptight about some things. Now I’m realizing that these little ones are going to grow up, no matter what I do or don’t do...so let’s enjoy the process!
One thing I really enjoy is a young child’s way of looking at things. They have such an uncomplicated, simple view of their world. And to them, everything should have a simple solution.
Our three-year-old has come up with her share of solutions lately. One Sunday as we were getting ready to leave for church, our five-year-old was upset that the jacket she was trying to get on was now too little for her. The three-year-old had an immediate answer for her.
“Don’t worry. When the jacket grows up, then you’ll be able to fit it.”
That kind of logic is exactly what I mean. There just aren’t very many unsolvable problems for a preschooler. And when there is a problem, the “KISS” rule seems to apply...Keep It Simple, Stupid!
Another preschooler solution surfaced just a few days later.
Since we have a boy now, we recently decided it was time to buy some hair clippers. Our boy has very little hair, but it was getting kind of shaggy in the back, so one evening we decided to try out the new clippers. It took both of us – Nate had to hold his head still, while I quickly did the little buzz job. Our three-year-old stood there watching the whole thing, and afterwards said that she wanted her hair cut, too. We told her no, it was bed time, and she didn’t need a hair cut anyway.
She must have fallen asleep thinking about it, because the next morning, she once again declared that she wanted a hair cut. I tried to explain to her that she didn’t need a hair cut.
With big, sad, puppy dog eyes she looked up at me and said, “But my hair is long like a girl. I don’t want to be a girl; I want to be a boy, so you need to cut my hair.”
We “older and wiser” adults know that life doesn’t work that way – clothing doesn’t grow with you, and haircuts don’t change who you are. But, I think we also know that sometimes we adults make things a lot more complicated than they really need to be. So, next time a problem arises, maybe we should all sit back for a moment and try to think like a three-year-old. It might not solve our problem – but it may help us take a little more light-hearted approach to it!
By: L.A. Kohl
March 5, 2005
I’ve been doing this parenting thing for over seventeen years now. It isn’t getting easier...but sometimes I think it’s becoming more fun.
Don’t get me wrong, the first few years of parenthood were definitely enjoyable. I just think that I, like most new parents, was too uptight about some things. Now I’m realizing that these little ones are going to grow up, no matter what I do or don’t do...so let’s enjoy the process!
One thing I really enjoy is a young child’s way of looking at things. They have such an uncomplicated, simple view of their world. And to them, everything should have a simple solution.
Our three-year-old has come up with her share of solutions lately. One Sunday as we were getting ready to leave for church, our five-year-old was upset that the jacket she was trying to get on was now too little for her. The three-year-old had an immediate answer for her.
“Don’t worry. When the jacket grows up, then you’ll be able to fit it.”
That kind of logic is exactly what I mean. There just aren’t very many unsolvable problems for a preschooler. And when there is a problem, the “KISS” rule seems to apply...Keep It Simple, Stupid!
Another preschooler solution surfaced just a few days later.
Since we have a boy now, we recently decided it was time to buy some hair clippers. Our boy has very little hair, but it was getting kind of shaggy in the back, so one evening we decided to try out the new clippers. It took both of us – Nate had to hold his head still, while I quickly did the little buzz job. Our three-year-old stood there watching the whole thing, and afterwards said that she wanted her hair cut, too. We told her no, it was bed time, and she didn’t need a hair cut anyway.
She must have fallen asleep thinking about it, because the next morning, she once again declared that she wanted a hair cut. I tried to explain to her that she didn’t need a hair cut.
With big, sad, puppy dog eyes she looked up at me and said, “But my hair is long like a girl. I don’t want to be a girl; I want to be a boy, so you need to cut my hair.”
We “older and wiser” adults know that life doesn’t work that way – clothing doesn’t grow with you, and haircuts don’t change who you are. But, I think we also know that sometimes we adults make things a lot more complicated than they really need to be. So, next time a problem arises, maybe we should all sit back for a moment and try to think like a three-year-old. It might not solve our problem – but it may help us take a little more light-hearted approach to it!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
A Word of Caution
By: L.A. Kohl
January 28, 2005
(published in the Wed., Mar 16 2005 edition of the Bullseye, Vol. 1 No. 21)
I’m hesitant to write this article, because I am definitely no expert – least of all, on teenagers. But I feel like I would really like to say a little something to them and their parents, not as an expert, but just as a mom.
Don’t worry – I’m not going to start “preaching” about some moral topic, although I might like to. This is a topic that keeps re-surfacing, and I find it distressing – not so much for myself as yet, but for other parents. I’m talking about teenage drivers.
It all started almost two years ago, when our eldest became one of those teen drivers. She attended a small, private school in Columbia three days a week, and it amazed me how often she would come home from school and say, “Well, so-in-so wrecked their car yesterday.” She’s in public school this year, and the scenario is still the same, and all too frequent. (Unfortunately, she was one of the ones who had a wreck this year.)
As I thought about it, I couldn’t help wondering what changed over the years. When I was a teenager, I could have counted on one hand the number of my peers who had been in a wreck. (One of those was my best friend, who ran into a grocery store of all things – but that’s another story!) I know a big part of the difference is access to their own vehicle. I could also count on one hand the number of kids in my class who had their own automobile as a sixteen or seventeen-year-old. Nowadays, it’s rare to find a teenager who doesn’t have their own “set of wheels," or one of their parents extra ones.
I’m not against teenagers being able to drive. I just think we (I’m talking to myself as well) as parents, need to continually stress to them that it is a HUGE responsibility. A car can be a wonderful means of transportation...it sure beats a bicycle when you want to get to Columbia. But, the flip side of it is that it can also be an instrument of death, if misused. When I was a pre-teen, a brother of a guy in our neighborhood thought he needed to speed around the car in front of him, even though it was on a curve in the road. No big deal, right? We’re all in a hurry sometimes, and do things a little recklessly, don’t we? Well, the next moment he ran head on, at high speed, into a semi that was coming around that curve. The rescue workers had to literally walk around picking up the body parts of the car and the two guys in it. Not a pretty picture, to put it mildly.
Teens - it might feel cool to drive a vehicle and be in control of where you’re going. Makes you feel all grown up, doesn’t it? It may be fun to drive fast and carefree...but something as insignificant as a loose patch of gravel can instantly change the fun into disaster. When it comes to driving – erring on the side of caution will almost always be in your best interest.
January 28, 2005
(published in the Wed., Mar 16 2005 edition of the Bullseye, Vol. 1 No. 21)
I’m hesitant to write this article, because I am definitely no expert – least of all, on teenagers. But I feel like I would really like to say a little something to them and their parents, not as an expert, but just as a mom.
Don’t worry – I’m not going to start “preaching” about some moral topic, although I might like to. This is a topic that keeps re-surfacing, and I find it distressing – not so much for myself as yet, but for other parents. I’m talking about teenage drivers.
It all started almost two years ago, when our eldest became one of those teen drivers. She attended a small, private school in Columbia three days a week, and it amazed me how often she would come home from school and say, “Well, so-in-so wrecked their car yesterday.” She’s in public school this year, and the scenario is still the same, and all too frequent. (Unfortunately, she was one of the ones who had a wreck this year.)
As I thought about it, I couldn’t help wondering what changed over the years. When I was a teenager, I could have counted on one hand the number of my peers who had been in a wreck. (One of those was my best friend, who ran into a grocery store of all things – but that’s another story!) I know a big part of the difference is access to their own vehicle. I could also count on one hand the number of kids in my class who had their own automobile as a sixteen or seventeen-year-old. Nowadays, it’s rare to find a teenager who doesn’t have their own “set of wheels," or one of their parents extra ones.
I’m not against teenagers being able to drive. I just think we (I’m talking to myself as well) as parents, need to continually stress to them that it is a HUGE responsibility. A car can be a wonderful means of transportation...it sure beats a bicycle when you want to get to Columbia. But, the flip side of it is that it can also be an instrument of death, if misused. When I was a pre-teen, a brother of a guy in our neighborhood thought he needed to speed around the car in front of him, even though it was on a curve in the road. No big deal, right? We’re all in a hurry sometimes, and do things a little recklessly, don’t we? Well, the next moment he ran head on, at high speed, into a semi that was coming around that curve. The rescue workers had to literally walk around picking up the body parts of the car and the two guys in it. Not a pretty picture, to put it mildly.
Teens - it might feel cool to drive a vehicle and be in control of where you’re going. Makes you feel all grown up, doesn’t it? It may be fun to drive fast and carefree...but something as insignificant as a loose patch of gravel can instantly change the fun into disaster. When it comes to driving – erring on the side of caution will almost always be in your best interest.
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